Thoughts and Feelings

Finding The Old Song Once Again

2007-05-16T21:29:00.000+08:00

Been listening to the old songs that i've loved ever since the past. Suddenly, I was surrounded by the feelings that i've felt in the past. The feeling of getting infatuated, the times when all cares seem to be gone. I've found out that I've really lost a lot of what I had in the past, especially the song which I had fallen in love with. Not as in the song I felt in love, but the song which reminds me of how I had fallen in love with the first girl I had 'loved'. The words in inverted commas are because I wasn't sure whether I was really in love or infatuated with the girl for 4 years, or maybe even more than that. How had those time seems so new yet so old.

Up till now, I have also missed out many of the 'classics' that i deemed them to be. I will always know the lyrics and tune of the songs, even though i have already forgotten the title of the songs. Some I have never even know the names when I heard them. Everytime the songs start, I will find the feelings once again, giving me the feeling of nostalgia once again. How it makes me feel the impact and the power of the songs. Oh my, how I wish I can find out the feelings that I've lost in the path of time. The never-ending path of time which I've wished that I've never started, or stopped in my tracks at some place. Time, the greatest factor in the reason why many of us forgot so many things and also why we lost our way because we could not deal with whatever was in the tracks. Hope everyone will be able to find the own songs and the correct paths in time in their lives. Let us live and find the way to backtrack.

Endless Waltz

2007-05-10T18:56:00.000+08:00

For people who has not heard of the above title. It is simply a name for an extension of a anime serial that has been showed a very long time ago. In the past, I had always thought that it was just a cool name for a anime since the word 'waltz' sounds so weird to me. However, when i watched the show recently, and also touched on the same words again, it gave me a thought about the meaning about the word.

The story is screened in the future world, where the human population is living in space, creating what is known as colonies for people to live in. Yet, there are two factions which are fighting. The current one which is ruling the world as of the start of the story, and one secret faction which built up it's own super robot and soldiers, which consists of 5 main individuals, to fight against the thinking of the current ruler of the world. The story ended in the whole serial, and the movie endless waltz is about the re-living of someone who wishes to start the whole settled event again. And with this comes the reason on how I got the thought.

In the movie, the screen is about the total control of the world, and the main goal of them is to take over Earth, which is the main obstruction in their quest for total domination. However, this is just another plan which, in the case of the secret faction, is just something which is a total waste of human lives. The war that will be fought, the sacrificing of unnecessary lives due to careful planning of the opposing party. Which will be what they will say as the endless waltz. Waltz being the classic dance which is danced in the better society. This is what that is said, getting the poorer to suffer by dancing waltz endlessly. The people above will do the waltz, leaving the poor people to suffer due to the lack of them doing anything else. Is this gonna be what the world is going to walk to? Or is this going to be what the world is going to be, fighting each other for the sake of revenge and anti-revenge? Will the tragic incidents that has happened in the past and recent past happen once again in our lives? Will this waltz carry on forever and ever, leaving the poor and helpless to suffer everytime?

Boring Life

2007-04-06T23:20:00.000+08:00

After living in this world for quite a long time, around two decades, i feel that my life is a bit too monotonous. Everyday doing the same old thing, going through the same old attitude, living in the way which my life hates the most. This kind of living makes me feel the most bored. As much as i wish not to admit it, i know that this is going to be my future in life, being a slave of money, having to slog my guts out for the pittance that i need to survive. Wishing to find the solace that will never appear in my life and the peace that will never been unto me in my life.

This is the main reason why i have always hated life and the way in which the world works. Is this really the evolution of man, or is this the devolution of humanity? Sometimes all these really makes me wonder which is really the truth and which is the false. Excitement about the fact on living in the past is now just a dread which i hate to come. Blood pumping about growing up is now a growing hatred for the time coming. Is this really what i had wished for in my life and the soul which is being eaten away by the world which is pumping mindlessness onto me? How i wished now that i was never a human. Suddenly i wish that i can grow old, so old that i know that life is leaking out from my feeble body, letting myself get drowned in the fact that i am going to leave this world. Hope that this is the best path in my life.

Mindless Droning

2007-03-14T23:10:00.000+08:00

Feels extremely empty recently. Getting to the extent of not even knowing what am i doing or why am i doing all those that i am doing. I may not even know what i'm currently writing on this blog. I may forget that this post even existed in the first place. How i wish that my droning will end someday and cease this seemingly endless torment that is bugging around me almost everytime.

Getting tired of many stuff that is in my mind recently. Feels like my mind and soul is slowly being drained off from myself. Getting so weak now i cannot even understand myself why. Is this really part of life? Is this why so many people starts to become more conservative when they age? I really do not have the heart and the andrenaline to cope with the upcoming risks and fun that i'd love when i'm just a little bit younger. Is this the fact that the place i'm in emphasis too much on safety and regimentation that i too am affected by this trend? I really do not understand.

Droning on and on,makes me feel that my soul is so empty,so much so that it craves and hungers for the one thing that fills the soul. Is this really what people call being empty? No fulfilment or sense of belonging to anything in this world. Making me feel so alien and unknown in this world of endless infinity.

Thoughtless and Unfeelingness

2007-03-13T22:16:00.000+08:00

Been feeling strange recently. I really couldn't think of anything of feel any feelings. Really wonder whether this is is just because i do not have the mood to do anything, or is this just another phase in my life that makes me feel so lethargic and brain-drained...

Have been really going through my life in this sense, which has been giving so much time and energy into doing meaningless stuffs that i would not have given so much care into until now. Is this the turning point in my life that is going to change so much in my life? Or is this going to be just yet another unbeaten path down my life journey that i am just experiencing for the sake of having nothing to do? Somehow i just get too confused to think about it.

Wish that i have many more options in life that i can go through. My current life, and lifestyle, is changing my mind into what Singapore is trying to make people become,a mindless individual that only knows what is follwing orders and helping the country. I just feel that my time are being wasted in this place. How i wish i can get out, find the place i really wish to go, and forget the fact that i've ever been in this place. Maybe i'm wrong in this concept, but this is really what i personally feel to be like in this position that i am in. Being trapped in the bottom, having to help like the trapped trappers, and getting blamed when something goes wrong. How i wish that this concept in life will change. Blooming into one which allows for more thoughts and ideas to be given out. This will be a virtually impossible dream in my life. But no matter what, i will work my goal towards this unknown destiny that i wish to make.

Kinship? My Foot!

2007-01-19T21:30:00.000+08:00

Guess that this is going to be my 1st post not on my thoughts or feelings. Had a really huge quarrel with my mother recently. This quarrel is one which really made me think what exactly is the relationship with your family and relatives. For those who knew what happened to me will know why am i thinking it that way. Really wonder,what really constitutes to a kin's real relationship? Is it one which contains hatred,lack of understanding over each other? Or is it the fact that there's only one party who's giving and the other taking it for granted,just because they are more senior? Is this really the family that i'm in,one so different from my idea of relationship? I really do not know. Everyone knows that there's a limit to tolerance,so why must they keep pushing it more and more? I had not wanted for anything to even happen,why must there be one who would always keep forcing me to become so cold,so cold that i don't even remember myself anymore? I really do not wish for so many things,why?!?!!

Yet another sad story,finding that i had to go through all these things. Good thing i still have a place of solace outside home. One more thing,i think i'm gonna be gone from my home soon. Having so many problems,i don't think that there will ever be anymore hope in staying in that family anymore. I can't even feel the warmth in that place anymore. Never do i wish to even find another place where i will find such a thing again.

Lonely

2007-01-14T02:07:00.000+08:00

Met with quite a few relationship problems recently.Relationship problems not as in love n stuff like that,it's about all sorts of stuff due to friendship n kinship. I find that i do have a lot of friends. Yet,i really cannot figure out who are really true to me and who are those that will help you in your face but stab you in your back. Suddenly and surprisingly,i found that i'm quickly becoming a loner. One who finds that he/she have had lost many friends. Those that were close are now only acquaintances. Those that were acquaintances don't even greet each other even when they meet each other now. Scary feelings now start to creep up onto people. I wonder if this is what is happening between relationships in human now? In the past,i hear from my tutors that life during the schooling time is the best,the most fun,the one where you find your true friends. Yet i seem to be finding more and more lies that have been creeping up.

Really,are all these going to be part of life now? I even find that i do not even feel about losing all the friends. Is this what it's going to become,an emotionless world filled with lies for selfish gains that is going to bring harm to those who people care so much about?

What is loneliness? is this the best solution to avoid being hurt nowadays? Is this going to be the root for the emotionless world that may be happening? Will there be more and more of those people who would do anything to gain their selfish needs and less and less people who will really care for those around them? What is life now man? I really feel the near future filled with so much dread that i really do not know what i really wish for. This dread is making me think that life is really a torture,giving us so much pain and harm that i really do not think that there should be more lives born in this world. Perhaps this is a good time for humans to start thinking whether they should continue to reproduce or should they simply just stop,and let humans die out,letting there be less of those who would get hurt and more of those who need to be salvaged. This is really the scary part,having so much scars and so little technology to cure them.

Growing Up

2007-01-07T18:09:00.000+08:00

Been into alot of thinking about a certain topic recently. What is growing up and what will one lose and gain during that period of time. From one who was carefree,not even caring about anything,to the one now who needs to think before doing anything. How long has this journey took? Was it a happy one,or was it one filled with tears and unhappiness. Glad to say,both of them happened in my life.

Saw in one of my friend's blog just now. She said that she finds the children she teaches in the school carefree,find them almost irresistable to be with. Wonder if i was like what one of those kids were when i was young. From the time that i only care about living my life in peace to the current life of thinking whether life is something good or not,many things have changed. And i do know one thing. Nothing is reversible. I really do not know whether i should feel happy or sad knowing that these memories,both fond and heartbreaking,is currently in my head. I'm suddenly feeling sad that i have grown to what i've become. I really wish to find back the child in me,the truly innocent and pure child. Let my wounds heal and be gone. Yet i do know that these things are like the wind,always here,coming to you when you least expect it. Or is it because of my persistent not to let it go and find peace in wherever it wishes to find? Somehow i feel that i had grown old,too old for my age to even comprehend why am i seeking all these feelings that i know that i will never be able to find again.

Ever since i started to seek this path of finding myself in this lost and crazy world,i feel that i've really changed alot. For the better and for the worse. Sometimes,i really loathe the me that i have become,one who thinks more about themselves,and less for the others. Is this really the true me that i have always been? Sometimes it makes me feel blur and hurt to even think about them. I really wish to last myself into the real me,yet at the same time,the real me feels so much like a stranger that it makes me shudder to even think that this is truly what i am. Is this stranger one who will make me feel more like myself,or is this making me feel like i am not only losing myself,but also many other things that i truly treasure? I'm really vexed,what is the truth in my heart.

A Brand New Year,The Same Old Me

2007-01-01T00:27:00.000+08:00

Have been staring at the computer the whole time from the start of the countdown to the coming of the new year. In the past,i'd always have special feelings whenever it comes to the end of the old year and the beginning of a new one. However,i suddenly find that this year really holds no excitement for me. I just crossed over the past year to this new one with no suddenly feel of pumping andrenaline or happiness that i've crossed another year. New years usually hold a special meaning to me. Yet i suddenly find out now that the life that i'm going through is so calm,no more of the rise and fall of emotions and stuff like that. It just makes me find that this world is suddenly so boring. Perhaps it's because i've been through so much that i simply find that stuffs that i really enjoyed in the past holds no more meaning to me. In other words,i guess i must be getting old.ROFL!

To speak the truth,i truly find that live now is really like a calm river. No more of the fun and beautiful scenary that the river will bring to liven things up. Even the best of the stuff only come once in a blue moon. Is this really part of growing up? Will what we have really enjoyed in the past be only like just a passing remark in life,where eternal is something that can never seem to be true? Somehow i wonder, where have all the fun and laughter really gone to,making my life look so dull and empty. Is this really going to be part of growing up? Yet,i find that other than having all the laughter and fun gone,i do have gained quite a bit of knowledge that i'd never even thought i'd have gained and understood. Really,do i really wish to have grown up,or do i not? I wonder....

However,there's one thing that i know. The world will not stop spinning just because my life is gone. It is something that led me into thinking about my current dream now. For that sake i will live on my life,for the darkest secret in my life and the theory that i have come up with with my own limited knowledge. Hence,it is something that will keep me going year after year. Being the same old me as i did ever since i thought it out.

Night At The Museum,Where History Lives Again.

2006-12-31T02:03:00.000+08:00

Just watched the show night at the museum today. Found that not only is it a comedy,it also reflects on some stuff that many people have never been able to understand. Thinking about the fact that history is the collection of the past,the soul of the past endeavors that people have done,the living of the history gives me the thought that it is a irony of today's people towards the past.

Think of the people as the main character of the movie,who knew extremely little,or rather,minimal of the past. This fact has already gave us the thought on whether the people now really knows about the past. If this continues,would this become like the part on the museum,where it becomes a place which nobody visits,and those who visits are only those who are either forced to visit or small children who don't even know the importance of even understanding history. So,is the movie really trying to just allow people to find amusement or are they really trying to shoot the people nowadays on their limited knowledge of the past?

Another thing on the movie was of the three old security guards. The fact that they locked up the miniature figurines and animals prove that they too do not really care about the fact on the past incidents. Even though they know about the history,they do not spare a thought for those who only wish to find a better place for themselves. Is this really an overlook on their part or is it to find the fact on the things that some people do for the sake of themselves only,and not sparing a thought for others?

Fragment Of My Memories

2006-12-30T00:47:00.000+08:00

Been thinking about the past quite alot recently. Perhaps it's because of the fact that i feel melancholic due to me feeling abit ill. Had regretted many things that i had done in the past. These regrets are now poking into my mind as though they are trying to pierce my head and trying to explode them out of my memory bank. This feeling is not making me feel any much better from my melancholic-ness. This also gave me some stuff to think of.

I was in quite a troubled family when i was growing up. I had witnessed my parents quarrel,divorcing,making up,and death of one of my parents. I do not know whether that it is considered as very unfortunate or what,but i really found that these series of events have really changed me alot. To the extent that i really don't even understand myself now. In the past,i had gone through a life which can be said to be a happy-go-lucky life. Although my life now is around the same,it comes with a very strong hint of restrictions on it. This makes me think about whether thoughts of the past is really so much of an experience or is it a journey that brings about the different types of feelings. I had not really wished to dwell too much into it in the past due to my fear of learning the truth. Yet now,i do find that it is something that has really brought me too much change to even neglect the fact. Even till today,i still do not know whether i have the answer in my mind. All the fragments in my mind has really confused my thoughts from the past. I do not know whether this is good or bad,but from what i do know,it has already influenced me since the beginning,till the end. No matter how much i wish to refuse this fact,the one thing that i know is going to happen is that i will never find myself of the past anymore. From the me who was obliging to anything to the current me who will think about what i'm doing is exactly right or wrong,i find that the journey towards this experience is something that i had regretted not treasuring.The part in my life that has always brought about my happiness and sadness. For now,i really do not know what is my goal in life and what is my decision on whether i wish to continue on this journey to find myself again or should i just throw myself into the illusion that my life will always be an ever-changing lie that i will never be able to understand. The road that is plagued with darkness,or the road that shines with the light of glory? The choices that i make,will they be the milestones for my life? Or are they going to be yet another jump into the endless stretch of road of uncertainty which i am already on? Or is this what people term as life,where they seek to find themselves in the endless path,only to find that life is but an illusion of self? Also,do i have the courage to face what i really am? Do i have the heart to take what i may find? Am i ever able to get myself out of this endless chain of choices? The way is set. Am i able to get off the carpeted walkway and walk out onto the mud-filled swamp?

Another Thought(From The Same Show Again!!)

2006-12-25T23:38:00.000+08:00

3rd thought i've received from the same tv show that i've been chasing these few mths. This thought seems to have already been in my thoughts for a very long time,just that this is the detonator that detonated the bomb in my mind,making it so obvious to me that it makes me think into it alot.

What is the difference between good and evil? Who is right and who is wrong? Is the first person to initiate a war the bad guy? Is the first person to propose peace the good guy? The thoughts between the right and wrongs have always been making people confused about whether they are wrong. This thought has also made a drastic effect on my decision-makings regarding who is right and who is wrong. In the past,i always follow my decisions upon what my teachers taught me to be right and disregard any other paths which i could take. However,as i grew,i find that these so-called right paths causes me to feel inhumane,to the extent that it makes me hurt so much that i wonder why am i following these decisions. Finally,i started to wonder why am i giving so much care about following the right path. In the end,i found out that nothing in the world is absolute,nothing can ever be totally right or totally wrong,no matter what anyone says. Hence,i started walking down my current path,a road not seeking right or wrong,a path that i deem to be what i would do and what i wish to do. After following this 'ideal' of mine,i started to feel happier,although there will always be unhappiness. Yet,it makes me remember,the feeling of always following what is right and what is wrong is not really such a good thing after all. Maybe now i'd know why terrorists would oppose the world and vice versa. The thought that they are right may not have been propogated by the leaders,but from themselves who found out that the norm is not right. What they feel themselves is the right path to choose. I guess that would be the reason why people would have different ideals on what is right and what is wrong.

The other thought,about being good or evil,is yet another thing in life that we all have to face. Sometimes,i really wonder. Why do some criminals get off scot-free while some people forced to commit crimes have to face charges so hard that they are crushed totally? What is the definition of being good or evil? Do everyone really get their just deserts? With the effect of bribary and crimes of similar category linked,who can we say to be evil or wrong? The world has already got into such a drastic manner already,what matters now? Even the most evil guy can be said to be a holy priest,and the most innocent can be charged with the guilt of committing something that he or she has never even think of,what is there to speak about being good or evil? Sometimes i really wonder.....

Forever and Ever?

2006-12-23T01:17:00.000+08:00

Got another thought in life from tv again,on the same show too. What disbelief! I could get more information from watching shows than reading up on newspaper. Not bad,maybe i should start watching more shows..:p

The thought this time is quite abstract. What the show was trying to show was to ask,'what is the meaning of forever in love?' In my case,i find that this thought is extremely interesting. I've never even went to think along that line. However,since it has already come to my mine,i'd really wish to find it out myself. The word forever means to the end of time. Yet,human life is always limited. It comes and goes,just like the living structure of every living organisms,according to the laws of nature. In that case,does the word forever really fit into the category of life and love? People always says that love is forever. Yet the fact still remains that it is always a broken promise time and time again. No matter what people say to everyone and anyone,it is still something that has never be realised. Reason being,no matter what type of forever-ness people say,it can never be as lasting as the most ancient mountain,can never be the wave that will endlessly crash onto the shores. Although everyone knows that forever will not be the fact when someone says it,it is still commonly used to express and acceptance of feelings. Wonder why?

Another thing i just remembered. Time has always been short in life. Why do people always rush so much? Since we don't have the time to do so many things,why must people torture themselves by slogging their guts out just to earn so much money that they cannot even spend? Why don't they just relax themselves and enjoy what little time they have in the world? I understand that money is something that must not be amiss to enjoy life,but earning so much in life,what's the use? To put it crudely,nobody can bring their money to their graves with them. Earn enough,then spend the rest of the time enjoying the world,is that really what NOBODY wants? Wealth is one of the greed,i do understand,but is there a need to have so much more than what is necessary? Everybody may want to feel the amount in their bank growing,yet going at this rate,we are going to be going into the world where money covers feelings so much that the world is not going to be what it is supposed to be anymore. It's going to be a world where there is no more feelings to be found,which is a world as dark and cold as the universe. Would this be what everyone wants? Sometimes,i really do not understand what humans want. Sad to say,i belong to one of them. Hope that it is not something that is going to destroy this world.

Chilling,Empty,Deep and Darkness Surrounds Me

2006-12-18T01:20:00.000+08:00

In the past,I have always had the occasional feeling of having my heart feel extremely empty. Giving it the feeling of having ur heart devoured by some unseen forces. This ain't the same feeling of being heart-broken or what,it doesn't give u the numbed feeling and ends there. This feeling I have starts to get scary only at this stage. This feeling starts to bring down what u really do not wish to think about,even going to the extent of breaking what little beliefs u hold,denying what little thoughts u have. This feeling is really scary. Perhaps it is because that i was still a young and naive that it seems extremely scary and fearful. Yet this feeling have given me some insight in life. Life is one think that is full of darkness,no matter how much one wish to find their way out,once they have been born they are already part of this diseased world,no matter how much they wish to escape from this ugly fact.

Now,i feel that I have been enveloped with this chill that i have always been feeling,to the extent the the chill doesn't even bother me much now. Perhaps this is just something that everyone has to go through in life. I can only wish that this feeling is something that will let me learn stuff that i have never even think of in the past. To get over this feeling is also another wish of mine,since i'm what i am. But what i really wish for now,is to be able to forget all these pain and suffering that i am going through,which i guess is the main source of my chill.

The same old dream(nightmare?)?

2006-12-15T18:33:00.000+08:00

3 days in a row,I've been having the same old weird dream. Different locations,same person i'm always with. What is the meaning of this? Is this what i really wish to have? Even though i'm cracking my head in order not to think,even to the extent of trying not to interact with the person. Yet the dreams seem to force my own hidden feelings to re-surface. Why must I remember these dreams? The vivid images in my mind,creating all sorts of feelings in my heart when i wake up. Why must these dreams come onto me,when i don't even remember my own dreams that happens to me? Why,of all dreams that i will gladly remember,even though they may be nightmares,do i remember these? Is there anyone who can help me forget all these images?

Might these dreams be my punishments for having done something wrong,and this is just the method that i have to be punished for regretting the actions that i did not do? I really wish that this feeling will stop soon,stop tormenting me in this way. I'd rather go through physical punishment rather then mental and emotional. Maybe me taking a leave now is really not a good idea. I guess i really need a lot of distractions to help me get over this feeling that i thought i have already been through. I can only hope that this will get settled before everything goes out of hand. Hope can only get so far. Let's leave everything to the life that has got me so far. Hope they are not fooling me.

Re-Surfaced Thought(s)?

2006-12-14T00:51:00.000+08:00

A friend of mine reminded me a thought that i have almost forgotten in my mind. What i think the real meaning of forgiving and forgetting means. To forgive,it jus means to think in the way the person who hurt you in a opposite way of what really happened. For example,a person who made u feel sad. Don't think it as the person really made u sad because he/she makes u feel sad. In contrast,think of it as the person helped u understand what is the meaning of feeling sad,and at the same time highlight what it feels like to be happy. So,in the end,what really happened is that one is feels glad,because there really isn't anything that makes people feel the other way anyway. So,since there's really nothing to forgive about,is there a need to forgive? Do we really need the words of apology,or the fact that we have to know that we have to let ourselves know that we have forgiven somebody? Is this really necessary?

To forget,it seems very out of point here in view of this context due to the fact that to achieve the above attitude,it is one of the hardest and almost impossible to achieve,for me at the very least. This is one of the things that is the hardest to remember yet the easiest to forget. Maybe this attitude really doesn't appeal to anyone,since it is the hardest to remember and the easiest to forget,yet it is something i think that is the best way for people to understand and live with each other.

Well,that's all for now. Hope this thought will be able to be learnt by people in future. Or should it,being such a obnoxious way of thinking in terms of forgiving.

Confusion,and Fear?!?!

2006-12-08T23:29:00.000+08:00

Hmm...,been feeling strange lately. Deep in my soul,even though i do not know exactly what is the reason,is a growing feeling that is making me feel strange,very strange. This confused emotion is making me feel more and more afraid,even though i could not even distinguish the combination of feelings inside my body. Is this the finding of interest in life? Or is this the utter disappointment towards life? I really do not wish to find myself in a difficult position. I'm a simple man,one who does not wish to get involved into all these bombardment and compilation of emotions. Hope that these feelings will be resolved,or,at the very least,they will be gone. Rid of these feelings,done with what i really wish,and get on with what i truly hope.

This strange feeling may be really coming from a certain uncertainty that i have been thinking all along. Have always been wondering,is life really what it seems? Do i really have the courage to face what life has for me? In this world,there has always been a saying of the afterlife,the talks about contributions and retributions. Are all these what i pin for? Somehow,i feel that all these have a missing element that has been overlooked by almost everyone. Looking at the current trend of life,where alot of people cheats,lies,and all sorts of things. What is considered right,and what is considered wrong? Do i really wish to continue to live in this world? Find out what lies before me in my afterlife,find out what are my contributions and retributions? This may just be the reason why i do not wish to believe in GODS and the cause and effects in afterlife. I only wish to finish this life of mine,let everything be gone after that,and find myself free again,never having to care about what is life and all sorts of things related to it,ever again.

Thoughts

2006-12-06T23:35:00.000+08:00

Watched the 7pm show just now.Found out quite a few things,even though they have been exaggerated by shows,some of them is something that is really so enlightening that makes me wonder what one of my tutors,whom i don't really think is fit to be one,has taught is really right. Are shows,comics,and stuff related to the less of the more educational areas really useless? Are they really something that shouldn't even be watched? I really wonder. Is she just one who wishes people to be like her,having no life,or has she just never got into contact with the better part of this area?

Nvm abt her. Rakes up old and bad memories.

Talking about the show. It was a story about 2 ppl who shouldn't have fallen in love with each other fell in love,resulting in many ordeals which they couldn't overcome,regardless of how hard they try. In the end,it had to result in the separation of the two. One of them even had to reject her feelings so as to save the guy's life. Sometimes i really wonder,will there ever be a love that is of the same concept as this? Will there ever be a love that transcends over everything? Is this really something that people will give up to have? Or rather,does love of that kind still exist? Sigh~! Life's really so pitiful. Sometimes it really hurts to think. Lol~!

Guess that's all for today, getting tired already. Sayonara then~

1st post of the day?

2006-12-06T00:18:00.000+08:00

Hi everyone! This is the first post that is being published onto my blog. This place is gonna b one place that i'm gonna publish my thoughts and feelings. So it will only be updated as and when i'm free...lol! So, enjoy, and give comments if u'd like, bt whether i'd take the advice is another thing.:p