Mindless Droning

Feels extremely empty recently. Getting to the extent of not even knowing what am i doing or why am i doing all those that i am doing. I may not even know what i'm currently writing on this blog. I may forget that this post even existed in the first place. How i wish that my droning will end someday and cease this seemingly endless torment that is bugging around me almost everytime.

Getting tired of many stuff that is in my mind recently. Feels like my mind and soul is slowly being drained off from myself. Getting so weak now i cannot even understand myself why. Is this really part of life? Is this why so many people starts to become more conservative when they age? I really do not have the heart and the andrenaline to cope with the upcoming risks and fun that i'd love when i'm just a little bit younger. Is this the fact that the place i'm in emphasis too much on safety and regimentation that i too am affected by this trend? I really do not understand.

Droning on and on,makes me feel that my soul is so empty,so much so that it craves and hungers for the one thing that fills the soul. Is this really what people call being empty? No fulfilment or sense of belonging to anything in this world. Making me feel so alien and unknown in this world of endless infinity.

Thoughtless and Unfeelingness

Been feeling strange recently. I really couldn't think of anything of feel any feelings. Really wonder whether this is is just because i do not have the mood to do anything, or is this just another phase in my life that makes me feel so lethargic and brain-drained...

Have been really going through my life in this sense, which has been giving so much time and energy into doing meaningless stuffs that i would not have given so much care into until now. Is this the turning point in my life that is going to change so much in my life? Or is this going to be just yet another unbeaten path down my life journey that i am just experiencing for the sake of having nothing to do? Somehow i just get too confused to think about it.

Wish that i have many more options in life that i can go through. My current life, and lifestyle, is changing my mind into what Singapore is trying to make people become,a mindless individual that only knows what is follwing orders and helping the country. I just feel that my time are being wasted in this place. How i wish i can get out, find the place i really wish to go, and forget the fact that i've ever been in this place. Maybe i'm wrong in this concept, but this is really what i personally feel to be like in this position that i am in. Being trapped in the bottom, having to help like the trapped trappers, and getting blamed when something goes wrong. How i wish that this concept in life will change. Blooming into one which allows for more thoughts and ideas to be given out. This will be a virtually impossible dream in my life. But no matter what, i will work my goal towards this unknown destiny that i wish to make.