Night At The Museum,Where History Lives Again.

Just watched the show night at the museum today. Found that not only is it a comedy,it also reflects on some stuff that many people have never been able to understand. Thinking about the fact that history is the collection of the past,the soul of the past endeavors that people have done,the living of the history gives me the thought that it is a irony of today's people towards the past.


Think of the people as the main character of the movie,who knew extremely little,or rather,minimal of the past. This fact has already gave us the thought on whether the people now really knows about the past. If this continues,would this become like the part on the museum,where it becomes a place which nobody visits,and those who visits are only those who are either forced to visit or small children who don't even know the importance of even understanding history. So,is the movie really trying to just allow people to find amusement or are they really trying to shoot the people nowadays on their limited knowledge of the past?


Another thing on the movie was of the three old security guards. The fact that they locked up the miniature figurines and animals prove that they too do not really care about the fact on the past incidents. Even though they know about the history,they do not spare a thought for those who only wish to find a better place for themselves. Is this really an overlook on their part or is it to find the fact on the things that some people do for the sake of themselves only,and not sparing a thought for others?

Fragment Of My Memories

Been thinking about the past quite alot recently. Perhaps it's because of the fact that i feel melancholic due to me feeling abit ill. Had regretted many things that i had done in the past. These regrets are now poking into my mind as though they are trying to pierce my head and trying to explode them out of my memory bank. This feeling is not making me feel any much better from my melancholic-ness. This also gave me some stuff to think of.

I was in quite a troubled family when i was growing up. I had witnessed my parents quarrel,divorcing,making up,and death of one of my parents. I do not know whether that it is considered as very unfortunate or what,but i really found that these series of events have really changed me alot. To the extent that i really don't even understand myself now. In the past,i had gone through a life which can be said to be a happy-go-lucky life. Although my life now is around the same,it comes with a very strong hint of restrictions on it. This makes me think about whether thoughts of the past is really so much of an experience or is it a journey that brings about the different types of feelings. I had not really wished to dwell too much into it in the past due to my fear of learning the truth. Yet now,i do find that it is something that has really brought me too much change to even neglect the fact. Even till today,i still do not know whether i have the answer in my mind. All the fragments in my mind has really confused my thoughts from the past. I do not know whether this is good or bad,but from what i do know,it has already influenced me since the beginning,till the end. No matter how much i wish to refuse this fact,the one thing that i know is going to happen is that i will never find myself of the past anymore. From the me who was obliging to anything to the current me who will think about what i'm doing is exactly right or wrong,i find that the journey towards this experience is something that i had regretted not treasuring.The part in my life that has always brought about my happiness and sadness. For now,i really do not know what is my goal in life and what is my decision on whether i wish to continue on this journey to find myself again or should i just throw myself into the illusion that my life will always be an ever-changing lie that i will never be able to understand. The road that is plagued with darkness,or the road that shines with the light of glory? The choices that i make,will they be the milestones for my life? Or are they going to be yet another jump into the endless stretch of road of uncertainty which i am already on? Or is this what people term as life,where they seek to find themselves in the endless path,only to find that life is but an illusion of self? Also,do i have the courage to face what i really am? Do i have the heart to take what i may find? Am i ever able to get myself out of this endless chain of choices? The way is set. Am i able to get off the carpeted walkway and walk out onto the mud-filled swamp?

Another Thought(From The Same Show Again!!)

3rd thought i've received from the same tv show that i've been chasing these few mths. This thought seems to have already been in my thoughts for a very long time,just that this is the detonator that detonated the bomb in my mind,making it so obvious to me that it makes me think into it alot.


What is the difference between good and evil? Who is right and who is wrong? Is the first person to initiate a war the bad guy? Is the first person to propose peace the good guy? The thoughts between the right and wrongs have always been making people confused about whether they are wrong. This thought has also made a drastic effect on my decision-makings regarding who is right and who is wrong. In the past,i always follow my decisions upon what my teachers taught me to be right and disregard any other paths which i could take. However,as i grew,i find that these so-called right paths causes me to feel inhumane,to the extent that it makes me hurt so much that i wonder why am i following these decisions. Finally,i started to wonder why am i giving so much care about following the right path. In the end,i found out that nothing in the world is absolute,nothing can ever be totally right or totally wrong,no matter what anyone says. Hence,i started walking down my current path,a road not seeking right or wrong,a path that i deem to be what i would do and what i wish to do. After following this 'ideal' of mine,i started to feel happier,although there will always be unhappiness. Yet,it makes me remember,the feeling of always following what is right and what is wrong is not really such a good thing after all. Maybe now i'd know why terrorists would oppose the world and vice versa. The thought that they are right may not have been propogated by the leaders,but from themselves who found out that the norm is not right. What they feel themselves is the right path to choose. I guess that would be the reason why people would have different ideals on what is right and what is wrong.


The other thought,about being good or evil,is yet another thing in life that we all have to face. Sometimes,i really wonder. Why do some criminals get off scot-free while some people forced to commit crimes have to face charges so hard that they are crushed totally? What is the definition of being good or evil? Do everyone really get their just deserts? With the effect of bribary and crimes of similar category linked,who can we say to be evil or wrong? The world has already got into such a drastic manner already,what matters now? Even the most evil guy can be said to be a holy priest,and the most innocent can be charged with the guilt of committing something that he or she has never even think of,what is there to speak about being good or evil? Sometimes i really wonder.....

Forever and Ever?

Got another thought in life from tv again,on the same show too. What disbelief! I could get more information from watching shows than reading up on newspaper. Not bad,maybe i should start watching more shows..:p


The thought this time is quite abstract. What the show was trying to show was to ask,'what is the meaning of forever in love?' In my case,i find that this thought is extremely interesting. I've never even went to think along that line. However,since it has already come to my mine,i'd really wish to find it out myself. The word forever means to the end of time. Yet,human life is always limited. It comes and goes,just like the living structure of every living organisms,according to the laws of nature. In that case,does the word forever really fit into the category of life and love? People always says that love is forever. Yet the fact still remains that it is always a broken promise time and time again. No matter what people say to everyone and anyone,it is still something that has never be realised. Reason being,no matter what type of forever-ness people say,it can never be as lasting as the most ancient mountain,can never be the wave that will endlessly crash onto the shores. Although everyone knows that forever will not be the fact when someone says it,it is still commonly used to express and acceptance of feelings. Wonder why?


Another thing i just remembered. Time has always been short in life. Why do people always rush so much? Since we don't have the time to do so many things,why must people torture themselves by slogging their guts out just to earn so much money that they cannot even spend? Why don't they just relax themselves and enjoy what little time they have in the world? I understand that money is something that must not be amiss to enjoy life,but earning so much in life,what's the use? To put it crudely,nobody can bring their money to their graves with them. Earn enough,then spend the rest of the time enjoying the world,is that really what NOBODY wants? Wealth is one of the greed,i do understand,but is there a need to have so much more than what is necessary? Everybody may want to feel the amount in their bank growing,yet going at this rate,we are going to be going into the world where money covers feelings so much that the world is not going to be what it is supposed to be anymore. It's going to be a world where there is no more feelings to be found,which is a world as dark and cold as the universe. Would this be what everyone wants? Sometimes,i really do not understand what humans want. Sad to say,i belong to one of them. Hope that it is not something that is going to destroy this world.

Chilling,Empty,Deep and Darkness Surrounds Me

In the past,I have always had the occasional feeling of having my heart feel extremely empty. Giving it the feeling of having ur heart devoured by some unseen forces. This ain't the same feeling of being heart-broken or what,it doesn't give u the numbed feeling and ends there. This feeling I have starts to get scary only at this stage. This feeling starts to bring down what u really do not wish to think about,even going to the extent of breaking what little beliefs u hold,denying what little thoughts u have. This feeling is really scary. Perhaps it is because that i was still a young and naive that it seems extremely scary and fearful. Yet this feeling have given me some insight in life. Life is one think that is full of darkness,no matter how much one wish to find their way out,once they have been born they are already part of this diseased world,no matter how much they wish to escape from this ugly fact.


Now,i feel that I have been enveloped with this chill that i have always been feeling,to the extent the the chill doesn't even bother me much now. Perhaps this is just something that everyone has to go through in life. I can only wish that this feeling is something that will let me learn stuff that i have never even think of in the past. To get over this feeling is also another wish of mine,since i'm what i am. But what i really wish for now,is to be able to forget all these pain and suffering that i am going through,which i guess is the main source of my chill.

The same old dream(nightmare?)?

3 days in a row,I've been having the same old weird dream. Different locations,same person i'm always with. What is the meaning of this? Is this what i really wish to have? Even though i'm cracking my head in order not to think,even to the extent of trying not to interact with the person. Yet the dreams seem to force my own hidden feelings to re-surface. Why must I remember these dreams? The vivid images in my mind,creating all sorts of feelings in my heart when i wake up. Why must these dreams come onto me,when i don't even remember my own dreams that happens to me? Why,of all dreams that i will gladly remember,even though they may be nightmares,do i remember these? Is there anyone who can help me forget all these images?


Might these dreams be my punishments for having done something wrong,and this is just the method that i have to be punished for regretting the actions that i did not do? I really wish that this feeling will stop soon,stop tormenting me in this way. I'd rather go through physical punishment rather then mental and emotional. Maybe me taking a leave now is really not a good idea. I guess i really need a lot of distractions to help me get over this feeling that i thought i have already been through. I can only hope that this will get settled before everything goes out of hand. Hope can only get so far. Let's leave everything to the life that has got me so far. Hope they are not fooling me.

Re-Surfaced Thought(s)?

A friend of mine reminded me a thought that i have almost forgotten in my mind. What i think the real meaning of forgiving and forgetting means. To forgive,it jus means to think in the way the person who hurt you in a opposite way of what really happened. For example,a person who made u feel sad. Don't think it as the person really made u sad because he/she makes u feel sad. In contrast,think of it as the person helped u understand what is the meaning of feeling sad,and at the same time highlight what it feels like to be happy. So,in the end,what really happened is that one is feels glad,because there really isn't anything that makes people feel the other way anyway. So,since there's really nothing to forgive about,is there a need to forgive? Do we really need the words of apology,or the fact that we have to know that we have to let ourselves know that we have forgiven somebody? Is this really necessary?


To forget,it seems very out of point here in view of this context due to the fact that to achieve the above attitude,it is one of the hardest and almost impossible to achieve,for me at the very least. This is one of the things that is the hardest to remember yet the easiest to forget. Maybe this attitude really doesn't appeal to anyone,since it is the hardest to remember and the easiest to forget,yet it is something i think that is the best way for people to understand and live with each other.


Well,that's all for now. Hope this thought will be able to be learnt by people in future. Or should it,being such a obnoxious way of thinking in terms of forgiving.

Confusion,and Fear?!?!

Hmm...,been feeling strange lately. Deep in my soul,even though i do not know exactly what is the reason,is a growing feeling that is making me feel strange,very strange. This confused emotion is making me feel more and more afraid,even though i could not even distinguish the combination of feelings inside my body. Is this the finding of interest in life? Or is this the utter disappointment towards life? I really do not wish to find myself in a difficult position. I'm a simple man,one who does not wish to get involved into all these bombardment and compilation of emotions. Hope that these feelings will be resolved,or,at the very least,they will be gone. Rid of these feelings,done with what i really wish,and get on with what i truly hope.


This strange feeling may be really coming from a certain uncertainty that i have been thinking all along. Have always been wondering,is life really what it seems? Do i really have the courage to face what life has for me? In this world,there has always been a saying of the afterlife,the talks about contributions and retributions. Are all these what i pin for? Somehow,i feel that all these have a missing element that has been overlooked by almost everyone. Looking at the current trend of life,where alot of people cheats,lies,and all sorts of things. What is considered right,and what is considered wrong? Do i really wish to continue to live in this world? Find out what lies before me in my afterlife,find out what are my contributions and retributions? This may just be the reason why i do not wish to believe in GODS and the cause and effects in afterlife. I only wish to finish this life of mine,let everything be gone after that,and find myself free again,never having to care about what is life and all sorts of things related to it,ever again.

Thoughts

Watched the 7pm show just now.Found out quite a few things,even though they have been exaggerated by shows,some of them is something that is really so enlightening that makes me wonder what one of my tutors,whom i don't really think is fit to be one,has taught is really right. Are shows,comics,and stuff related to the less of the more educational areas really useless? Are they really something that shouldn't even be watched? I really wonder. Is she just one who wishes people to be like her,having no life,or has she just never got into contact with the better part of this area?


Nvm abt her. Rakes up old and bad memories.


Talking about the show. It was a story about 2 ppl who shouldn't have fallen in love with each other fell in love,resulting in many ordeals which they couldn't overcome,regardless of how hard they try. In the end,it had to result in the separation of the two. One of them even had to reject her feelings so as to save the guy's life. Sometimes i really wonder,will there ever be a love that is of the same concept as this? Will there ever be a love that transcends over everything? Is this really something that people will give up to have? Or rather,does love of that kind still exist? Sigh~! Life's really so pitiful. Sometimes it really hurts to think. Lol~!


Guess that's all for today, getting tired already. Sayonara then~

1st post of the day?

Hi everyone! This is the first post that is being published onto my blog. This place is gonna b one place that i'm gonna publish my thoughts and feelings. So it will only be updated as and when i'm free...lol! So, enjoy, and give comments if u'd like, bt whether i'd take the advice is another thing.:p